Sarah was bad at flirting. Like, real bad. Past attempts at flirting usually led to the other person asking Sarah if she was okay.
When Sarah was abducted, she didn’t know what to do. She had no upper body strength so fighting was out of the question. Her grades in school had been average and she had a Liberal Arts degree, so figuring out the alien technology also seemed like a no-go.
The aliens scanned her body, took tissue and blood samples. When they attempted to remove her clothes, Sarah blurted out, “Why don’t you buy me dinner first, jeez.”
The aliens stopped and considered what she said. One adjusted a dial on their collar.
“What would you like to eat?”
“You can understand me?”
“Yes.”
Sarah weighed her options. If she was going to get probed, she might as well get a free meal out of it.
“Are we still near Earth?”
“Yes, but we can replicate your human food onboard.”
“So, you can make anything I want?”
“Yes.”
Sarah thought long and hard. She was curious to see how long the aliens would keep this going.
“My grandmother made a great baked ziti.”
“One moment.”
The aliens put a helmet on Sarah.
“What is grandmother’s baked ziti?” they asked.
Sarah thought about her grandmother and family dinners before her parents divorced. She remembered watching her grandmother dance around the kitchen, the smell of the sauce she made from scratch. Sarah decided to answer the aliens as literally as she could.
“Ziti is a type of pasta noodle and it is covered in a tomato based sauce and cheese. Sometimes there is meat.”
“Understood.”
The aliens removed the helmet and gestured her to follow them as they exited the room. When they entered the hallway, Sarah saw an opportunity to escape. But what would she be returning to?
Sarah’s life was boring. All she did was work and arrange her Pinterest board with places she would never go to and a life she would never get. Her only dates were pity dates set up by friends who felt sorry for her. She didn’t even have a cat.
Sarah followed the aliens through the ship. She saw other aliens stop and stare at her through open doors. Some even came out into the hallways to gawk.
Her captors led Sarah into a noisy room that looked like a cafeteria. All alien noise stopped the moment Sarah appeared. It was an awkward silence followed by a flurry of activity. Tables were pushed together, chairs rearranged, tablecloths appeared out of nowhere.
The tablecloths and dishes looked familiar to Sarah, but she couldn’t place them until the food started coming out of what she assumed was the kitchen. The smell hit her like a semi-truck. It was her grandmother’s baked ziti.
The food was served family style. Each table had been arranged to fit 7-9 people. There was salad, garlic bread, baked ziti and real Parmesan cheese. Sarah started crying.
“Is this not correct?”
“No, it’s all correct. I’m just overwhelmed.”
“We tend to have that effect on humans,” said a new voice. “But your tears seem…complicated.”
Sarah laughed. “Complicated would be the right word.” She wiped away her tears to get a better look at the alien who had taken a seat at the head of the table. “I take it you’re the one in charge here?”
The alien seemed embarrassed. “Is it that obvious?”
The others at the table seemed to be laughing. “Our Lord-Lady likes to think of themselves as a Commoner, but they forget that their royal upbringing makes them present much differently than the rest of us,” said the alien to Sarah’s left.
“Lord-Lady? Is that your title?” Sarah asked.
“It’s the closest thing we can translate it to in your language. You can call me Rexina.”
“I’m Sarah.”
Rexina smiled. “It is nice to meet you, Sah Rah. Now, tell us about this food we are about to eat.”
Sarah told the table about the food, and her grandmother. She told them about life on Earth and how she had never fit in. Sarah asked the aliens about their world, space travel, what they thought about humans. She was so engaged in the conversation with Rexina that she didn’t even notice that the cafeteria had emptied.
“We should go,” Rexina said. “The cleaning crew has been glaring at us for a while.”
Sarah saw that she and Rexina were the only diners left. She reluctantly got up, not wanting the conversation to end. Rexina was the most interesting person she had ever met and talking to them was so easy.
They exited the cafeteria together and stood awkwardly in the hallway.
“I guess I should get back to work,” Rexina said.
“And I guess I should go back to…being experimented on?”
“Oh!” Rexina again looked embarrassed. “Sorry about the whole…kidnapping…thing.”
“It’s okay. I mean, it’s not okay to kidnap people, but I’m not judging anditmeansthatIgottomeetyousoitwasworthit.” Sarah turned away, blushing, and started walking determinedly away. She didn’t care if it was the right direction, she just needed to get away from the situation she just created.
“Sah Rah! Wait!”
Sarah took off running and ran straight into a wall.
Rexina quickly arrived at her side.
“Are you alright?”
“Yup, just totally embarrassed.”
“No need to be. Our ship can be very confusing,” Rexina paused thoughtfully. “Would you like a tour?”
Even through the embarrassment, Sarah knew she would do anything to spend more time with Rexina. She agreed to a tour, which turned into dinner, and by then it was late so Rexina offered her their bunk.
“But where will you sleep?”
“I can put some bedding in my office, it will be fine. I’m not sure I would be able to sleep anyway.”
“Me neither. Maybe we should keep hanging out until we get tired?”
And so they did. They talked for hours until they fell asleep nestled against each other.
———
Days turned into weeks. Rexina found new ways to avoid returning Sarah to the Processing Room, even though they passed it regularly. Sarah was given a uniform and the ship’s tailor adjusted it to her human form.
Rexina took Sarah on trips down to Earth and was amazed that Sarah had seen so little of her own planet. Together they explored the deserts, mountains, rainforests and tundra. Sarah learned that humans were not the only life forms taken up to the spaceship.
“It’s what you humans would call ‘Catch and Relase’. We try not to harm anything living, though we have made mistakes. The most important thing is that we learn from those mistakes.”
Sarah discovered that Rexina’s people had been studying the Earth for centuries. Rexina laughed as she revealed that the idea of “little green men” versus “grey men” had been competing experiments by two doctoral candidates.
Rexina learned a lot from Sarah as well. They learned the mundanity of every day life as Sarah wrapped up her life on Earth. After selling what she could and donating what she couldn’t, Sarah was left with a suitcase and a duffel.
“I can make more room for you,” Rexina said.
“It’s fine, I have everything I need,” Sarah said, reaching out to hold one of Rexina’s hands.
———
Weeks turned into months. Sarah did her best to learn Rexina’s language but her mouth couldn’t form certain sounds.
“Stop laughing at me.”
“I can’t help it, your face is so cute!”
They were on the return journey to Rexina’s home planet. Royalty didn’t usually participate in the expeditions to other planets, but Rexina was uncomfortable as a royal. They wanted to prove that they were capable of earning their way through life. They had been met with resistance at first, but Rexina proved themselves. The ship’s crew would gladly follow Rexina wherever they led, even if it was being marooned on a distant planet because their Captain had fallen in love with a human.
“What if your parents don’t like me?”
“They’re going to love you.”
“Humans can’t even accept other humans with different skin colors. Why would your parents accept another species?”
“That’s why humans have never traveled past their own moon.”
Both Sarah and the crew had their worries assuaged by the welcome waiting for them. The Emperor and Emperor-Consort had arranged a week long celebration welcoming their child back home and to welcome Sarah into their family.
“Our species partners for life, did you know that?” asked the Emperor-Consort over dinner.
“Maternal Father, please do not embarrass me.”
“I’m just asking questions. You never bring anyone home so this one must be special.”
Sarah smiled joyfully. She adored Rexina’s family and they adored her.
———
Months turned to years. Rexina and Sarah were married with a traditional bonding ceremony. The Emperor cried louder than anyone at the ceremony.
Years turned to decades. Sarah developed into her role in the Royal Court. Rexina and Sarah adopted what they thought was the Earth equivalent of a house cat but ended up being a small, furry, sentient being. The creature was legally designated as their child and they adopted more children, the orphans and outcasts of the galaxy. They took their children on expeditions around the Universe and raised them to be kind and generous leaders.
Being royalty was still the furthest thing from their minds but they returned home permanently as the Emperors grew older. Rexina ascended the throne while their parents still lived. During the coronation, Sarah smiled at her life partner and their children. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined where she would end up. Sarah was happy.
